Moronic tourists are ruining travel – how not to be so on your next vacation

Webster added 630 words to its dictionary in 2023. We’d like to suggest one more: “touron”.

Moronic tourists have become an unfortunate fact of life in the digital age – you could even say they’re part of the zeitgeist.

From Yellowstone to Bali, not a week goes by without a tour earning scorn for shocking wildlife or vandalizing a sanctuary. Of course, idiot tourists are nothing new: in 1930, even the Prince of Wales was among the hordes of visitors who climbed the pyramids of Egypt.

But at that time you could get away with it. Today that kind of no-no will land you in jail. Here’s what you need to know so your vacation doesn’t go viral.

Yokels in Yellowstone

With 4.5 million tourists a year, Yellowstone is the fourth most visited national park. Thanks to their misbehavior, the “Tourons of Yellowstone” Instagram account now has nearly 550,000 followers.

Last August, a visitor with a child thought it would make sense to run after a mother bear and her two cubs. Then, in April, a drunk Idaho man decided it would be fun to drunkenly punch a bison, North America’s largest land mammal. Not to be outdone, another tourist made headlines in June for relaxing in a field with a herd of bison – known to maul and even kill people, who may or may not have deserved it.

“For herbivores like deer, elk, bison, etc., you need to stay at least 25 feet away,” Yellowstone guide Bo Welden told The Post. “Stay 100 yards away from bears and wolves.”

He also has no patience for cars that stop in the middle of the road to take in a view.

“All four tires must be off the road to keep traffic moving.”

And the pack of bear spray? It’s not a suggestion, it’s a sign of respect. Not only does it keep you safe, but it also keeps the bears safe.

“I can’t tell you the number of people I see on the trails without bear spray,” Welden said.

Another tip: bear spray on a backpack is useless. You have to have it on your hip. With bears that can reach speeds of 40 mph, even Usain Bolt isn’t safe.

“I can’t tell you the number of people I see on the trails without bear spray.”

Yellowstone Guide Bo Welden

Finally, keep your hands, feet, and all body parts out of Yellowstone’s more than 10,000 hydrothermal features.

In September, a 60-year-old New Hampshire woman was airlifted from Yellowstone — an expensive way to get a bird’s-eye view of the park — to treat third-degree burns she received as a result of trespassing and leaving. . traces.

And in 2016, a 23-year-old Oregon man dissolved in an acidic pool while trying to find a suitable place to dive.

Soaking, swimming, and boiling eggs (which one tour tried to do) in Yellowstone’s hot springs are all prohibited.

Idiots in Italy

In 2023, Italy welcomed 60 million tourists, including some people immigration probably regrets letting in. Last summer, in two separate incidents, a 27-year-old Bulgarian fitness instructor and a Swiss teenager were caught on camera carving their names into the Colosseum.

The Trevi Fountain also did not skate without damage. In July, an overgrown baby started babbling after stepping into the world’s most famous fountain to refill her water bottle.

Last month, two lads – a Dutch kid with a Sharpie and a Cossack embracing his inner Michaelangelo – were arrested after vandalizing Herculaneum and Pompeii, both UNESCO World Heritage sites.

But Daniele Toniolo, an Italian tour guide with JayWay Travel, said it’s not necessary to vandalize an ancient site to warrant a serious look.

“Disrespectful clothing, loud and unruly behavior, and a general lack of respect can be perceived by locals as just as disturbing,” he told The Post.

To avoid getting into the tour, Toniolo recommends opting for the overtime tour.

Bozos in Bali

All you need is a valid visa to visit Bali. But soon, “Island of the Gods” may add “having two brain cells” to the list of entry requirements.

This paradoxical paradise attracts 5.2 million tourists a year, many of whom arrive buzzed and left out. Things have gotten so bad that last summer the government published a list of tourist dos and don’ts – including not driving around on a scooter like you’re on a suicide mission.

In April, an Austrian in a Bintang bender made headlines when he was stopped at a mini-mart during a citizen’s arrest. A video of a British tourist being baptized in a decorative bowl of flowers at a five-star hotel in June has already had nearly 70 million views. As of September, more than 150 tourists have been deported so far this year, and nearly 200 more are in detention, awaiting deportation, according to a government report.

Being a respectable tourist in Bali isn’t rocket science, says Balinese expat Denise Baron.

“Don’t walk into a temple in a bikini, wear a crash helmet on a motorcycle, or even think about drugs,” she told The Post.

In July, a 49-year-old tourist narrowly escaped Bali’s mandatory death sentence for drug trafficking. Acting on a tip, officials who raided his hotel room found 3.15 grams of meth in his toothpaste tube. Instead of facing a firing squad, the father-of-two will be treated to an extended 4-month break at an Indonesian rehab.