Dear ABBY: I am a 72 year old widower and am wondering if it would be inappropriate to contact an old girlfriend from my college days. Yes, more than 50 years have passed and she is married with grown children. I’m just wondering what your position is on this.
It would be nice to talk and catch up on our lives, etc. She lives 400 miles from where I live but I would love to talk to her and talk about our lives. Since we’re both in our early 70s, there obviously isn’t much time left. – GROWING UP IN GEORGIA
DEAR PAST: My position is don’t dip your hook in the water unless you plan on keeping whatever you catch. Your old girlfriend is a married woman with a family. If your motive is simply to sing a chorus of “Auld Lang Syne,” go ahead and lay down. If you are lonely and have everything more about it, then don’t.
Dear ABBY: Some relatives come once or twice a year from overseas to stay at my father-in-law’s house. For more than 20 years, it has been the same routine. They appear, but we never know in advance when and how long they will stay. We are expected to drop everything to go there to visit with them as long as they are in town. There are no plans and no plans; we just sit back and wait for them to decide what they want to do
I’m so tired of him. I’d rather know in advance so I don’t have to cancel my previous plans when they come up. It’s nice to chat, but I’d like to know in advance that they’re coming so I can meet them for a meal or activity instead of sitting around for hours. Can I make this request now that it has taken so long? – RUINED IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR DRUGS: Yes, you can make your wishes known. What you propose is common sense and common decency. Tell those relatives you love seeing them, but would like some advance notice when they plan to be in town so you can adjust your schedule and take them somewhere instead of sitting for hours at your in-laws. It is quite possible that these relatives – AND your in-laws – would appreciate it.
Dear ABBY: For the past two years, my husband and I have attended a holiday concert with our good friend Ellie, who lives two hours away. Ellie recently told a friend how great the concert was and now the friend wants to come into town to see it. The problem? We don’t like this person for some reason, but Ellie has chosen to invite this friend to attend the concert with her. We feel slighted. How should we approach this with Ellie? – OUTSIDE OF SACONDITA IN ARIZONA
DEAR: I recommend you not to do this. You may be close to Ellie, but you shouldn’t try to dictate who she invites to be her guests at events. If you do, you will alienate him. Accept that if you want to attend the next concert, you will have to buy the tickets separately, and when you meet Ellie and her friend you hate, be nice.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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